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Am I Too Attached to My Boyfriend?

Authored by Katharine Foust in Dating 
Published on 10-03-2009

We’ve all seen this happen. A woman hangs out with her friends and goes about her daily business. Life is good. She is meeting expectations and her friends know who she is and what they can count on her for. Then, a man enters the scene.

All of a sudden this woman has other priorities and every conversation with her starts with the word “He..”. What’s happening here is very irritating to her friends and loved ones, but she just thinks of it as spending time with her man. Are you this woman? Have you forgotten everything else but the man you are seeing? If so, you may be too attached to your boyfriend.

Some other signs that you are too attached to your boyfriend include losing your identity and obsessing about him or what he is doing. Let’s take a look at some examples of ways that these symptoms manifest themselves.

Do you hold firm to your beliefs and opinions? Many times when women become too attached to their boyfriends they mold their beliefs to fit the man’s. Something that was once of extreme importance to them becomes trivial if the man does not think it’s important. Though this may seem like a good way to bond with your boyfriend, I promise that in the end you will end up resenting him if you gave up values that were important to you so you could please him. It’s a sad way to lose your identity as a person and only breeds anger at self.

Do you find yourself constantly thinking about your boyfriend? It’s normal to think alot about the one you love, but there comes a point when it becomes unhealthy. For instance, if you are trying to call him and he doesn’t answer the phone. Do you obsess about where he may be or what he may be doing? Worse, do you automatically assume that he is cheating on you or with someone else? This is an unhealthy thought process. There is always a possibility that he just doesn’t feel like talking on the phone. We have all felt that way from time to time. Honestly, if you can’t trust someone then you don’t need to be with them in the first place anyhow. In fact, if this is the case, then you need to look at your own insecurities.

Many times when we become too attached to someone it’s because we have our own insecurities that we need to look into. It’s much easier to focus in on someone else and let them shape our identity, but it’s not a healthy way to live. Soon, the person we are too attached to will feel smothered anyhow and leave. Think about it. When you are attracted to someone, it’s because of their personality and their looks. Would you be that attracted to them if their personality started to change and mold to yours? In the end, they would tend to lose whatever was attractive about them in the first place. Stand firm in your own beliefs and who you are and people will naturally be attracted to you as you are. And you will be strong enough to not need to obsess over anyone!

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