Controlling your temper is not easy. In fact, it can be quite difficult if someone says or does something to hurt you. If your angry outbursts are affecting your relationships with family, friends and co-workers in a negative way, then it is time you look in the mirror and ask yourself how you can improve your behavior.
Here are a few anger management tips that will help you better control your temper.
When you feel like you are about to blow up at someone, it is best to leave the situation for a few hours or longer depending on how bad the situation is. Spending time away from the person who has just made you upset will give you time to calm down and think through the situation in a more clear and reasonable manner. Sometimes herbal teas will help ease your troubled nerves. If you are really upset, call a friend, a family member or your counsellor and talk to them about the situation. Talking to a person who is close to you will give you that sense of emotional security and will help diffuse your anger.
Engage in physical activities. Go for a long walk or run, swim several laps in the community pool or take kick boxing lessons. These types of physical activities will provide an outlet for your anger and will even help ease the physical tension in your body.
Find an activity that is soothing for both your body and your emotions. Take a hot bath and listen to gentle and uplifting music. Most importantly, talk to God about the situation. He will give you the strength to control your anger and guidance to solve the negative situation without hurting the person who angered you.
Once you are calm and your good mood is restored, make an effort to talk to the person who had hurt you. Express your anger in a calm manner. Do not avoid the situation. It will only cause your anger to build. If it was your spouse that said or did something to make you angry, sit him or her down and gently point out their negative behavior. Explain how their abrasive behavior angered you.
Always use the word ‘I’ when describing the problem. In doing this you will not put the criticism or blame on the other person. For instance, say “I’m upset that you did not cook dinner tonight. Do not say something like, “if you would have cooked dinner than maybe I would have felt better when I got home after a hard day at work.” A statement like this will not solve anything. It will only make the situation much worse.
If the person who angered you happens to be a co-worker, sit down with that person, work through the problem and figure out ways you can work together in a more friendly and professional matter. If the person refuses to cooperate, it is best to take the issue to your boss and then let him or her deal with it.
It does take time to control anger, especially if you have a severe temper and are very quick to lose it. With effort, though, you will be able to control your anger. Talking to a counsellor who is specialized in anger management can also be very helpful, especially if you are suffering from depression.