Authored by Rodney Southern in Marriage
Published on 07-15-2009
Marriage compatibility tests have become all the rage in recent years. With the divorce rate being so high, it would seem that we are moving to a more clinical approach to knowing who is right for us. Since our gut feelings do not seem to be leading us to marriage nirvana, maybe a good old marriage compatibility test can do a better job. For some, these tests are a must before walking down the aisle. For others, marriage compatibility tests are little more than a Cosmo joke.
Marriage compatibility tests are really just a way to see if two people are a good fit for one another on paper. The fact is, marriage compatibility tests are only as good as the people that created the test. There are so many versions out there that it is simply impossible to know which ones are accurate and which ones are scams. Certainly a good marriage compatibility test could give you a general idea of whether your interests match up with a potential mate. Anything more than that is false advertising.
So why are marriage compatibility tests bad for a relationship and potential marriage? Quite simply put they do not account for feelings. They do not account for that spark between two people. They do not account for unexplained love that can spark between two people regardless of their interests. Some say that these are fleeting things that will go away over time together. The truth is that these are the things that will last forever.
Marriage compatibility tests can tell you how you feel about marriage, religion, kids, and even whether you like a certain kind of sex. What marriage compatibility tests do not say is that these opinions change in people all of the time. Have you been of the same mind about kids throughout your entire lifetime? Most would say they have not. The same is true of sexuality, religion, and marriage values and opinions.
The best way to tell compatibility between two people is to find out what they feel for one another. Nothing can predict feelings of love. No marriage compatibility test can predict the explosion that occurs when love springs forth. For this reason, marriage compatibility tests are little more than a side note. They are the type of thing that goes along with relationship quizzes found in magazines. They are interesting. They are funny sometimes. They can seem very accurate even. But they do not predict the success or failure of any marriage. People do that.
If you are interested in taking a marriage compatibility test, then you should do so with a grain of salt. Do it for fun, rather than as a litmus test for your marriage’s success or failure. Marriage is way to complicated for any marriage compatibility test to ever predict.