Authored by Ceetee Sheckels in Divorce
Published on 01-02-2010
Getting a divorce is never easy. Even if it is the result of a marriage which contained abuse or infidelity, it can take an emotional toll on everyone involved. In many cases, it may take a financial toll as well. The best rule of thumb is to attempt to keep the entire process as amicable as possible, while protecting your best interests.
A divorce which comes by mutual consent is the easiest. This does not mean that it is without problems. Even if you live in a state which allows you to file for a divorce without the assistance of an attorney, seeking advice is recommended if your divorce can include any potential disagreements. These may include custody of your children, division of property and other asserts, and spousal support. An attorney or legal aid advisor can inform you of your rights.
Most states in America now have no-fault divorce laws. This means that you will not need to prove sufficient grounds for wanting a divorce. However, if the divorce is not by mutual agreement, your spouse may attempt to cause difficulties for you. This may result in the need for court appearances. Legal representation will help your divorce case to proceed as smoothly as possible.
While your spouse may be in disagreement, you should still try to maintain a balance of fairness. This is especially true if there are children involved. Although many fathers attempt to use their children to “get back at” their wives, many mothers do this, also. Instead of resorting to these kinds of tactics, you should keep your focus on what is best for your children. Divorce is difficult and disruptive enough for a child without one parent using child-custody arrangements as a means to harm the other parent.
The most productive way to look at divorce is that it is a difficult step toward the rest of your life. The sooner the process can be completed, and the less hostility it involves, the sooner you will be able to move on with your life. While you should not allow your rights to be trampled upon, you should also not portray your spouse in a dishonest light, either. A no-fault divorce does not require unfair character-assassinations or undeserved blame. Regardless of your particular situation, it is much more positive to be honest and fair, even if your spouse is not doing the same.
If your divorce is the result of infidelity, abuse, or other extreme circumstances, you may benefit from some short-term counseling. This will help you in putting your troubled marriage into perspective so that you can put it behind you after your divorce is finalized. Some women find it very difficult to put these kinds of experiences behind them, and continue to carry the emotional damage from their troubled marriages. When you seek short-term assistance, you will be able to put both your divorce and your marital experiences in the past. You will then be able to move on to a more fulfilling, happy life.