Are you a parent going through a divorce? If so, you understand it is a painful process. Emotions are high and maturity is often low. However, as you hash out how to divvy up your life with another person, don’t forget the children. They are the innocent victims in the whole ordeal. As a result, it’s important to mind your manners and follow these five legal divorce tips for parents.

1- Decide who pays.

This legal divorce tip for parents will reduce your chances of arguing with your soon to be ex about money. What is it? Get everything in writing in regards to who pays for what. What is what? It is child support to include housing, schooling, entertainment, food, insurance and clothing. All of these things are essential to a child’s welfare. Therefore, you need all of the legalities surrounding them set on paper and signed off on by your children‘s other parent.

2- Don’t make side deals.

Here is another legal divorce tip for parents that any attorney will support. Don’t make side deals with the person you are divorcing about joint finances, property or children. The fact that you are getting a divorce proves you don’t work well together. Also, when a divorcing spouse gets angry about one part of the settlement, he or she will usually forgo any side deals anyway. So, let the attorney earn his pay and negotiate any agreements and get them on paper – big or small.

3- Use separate attorneys.

This next legal divorce tip for parents is a trap that the poorer of the two getting a divorce often falls prey to. Even if you are flat broke and your ex is agreeing to pay for all attorney fees, never use the same attorney. Attorneys are human. They take sides, sleep with clients and manipulate people in the wrong direction. As a consequence, you don’t want to share the same one with a person you are parting ways with. If the attorney decides you are the weaker parent, you might get a low amount in child support or lose custody rights. Therefore, get your own attorney – one who is willing to work hard for you.

4- Speak through your attorney.

One of the most important legal divorce tips for parents is to communicate through attorneys. Never take matters into your own hands or send messages through your children. In the long run, both tactics will hurt your kids. Why? You won’t get along with their father or mother and you will put the kind of pressure on them that even adults can barely handle. It’s a lose-lose situation. So, hold your tongue and let your attorney wag his.

5- Lay out visitation rules.

The final legal divorce tip for parents is to be specific about visitation rights. Work out through your attorney who gets the children on each day of the week and at what times. Also, negotiate about those things that usually cause arguments like transportation and the presence of a new girlfriend or boyfriend at the drop off point. It will be a touchy subject, but one that’s best dealt with through attorneys before the visitation rights begin.

These five legal divorce tips for parents are the ones you should use until the divorce is final. They will help go through the process with more ease and also help you be a good parent at the same time.