We’ve all had those times where we forgot a special day, didn’t make an event, or said something that in retrospect we know we shouldn’t have. Regardless of how bad the offense is, if you know that you’re at fault there’s only one thing to do… apologize. Unfortunately men aren’t always the best at apologies, but they are a necessary part of relationships, so we’re all going to have to learn sometime.
The smaller a mistake is, the easier it is to apologize for. If it’s something small, say that you had to cancel a casual date, then the apology will be fairly simple. Just pull your girlfriend aside, explain to her what happened, tell her that you’re sorry, and see if she wants to re-schedule the event. The larger the mistake you made though, the more ramifications you’re going to have to deal with. The larger the price of an apology is going to be, the harder it is to pull it off. In order to nip the situation in the bud though, it’s best to apologize as soon as possible.
However, no matter how big the mistake is, an apology is the first step towards smoothing things over again. An apology opens up lines of communications, and shows that you know either in part or in whole that you were in the wrong.
Apologies should be delivered in neutral ground where both of you will be able to leave if you need to. Ideally what should happen is communication. The act of apologizing shows your girlfriend that you care enough to show that you messed up, to state it, and to try and make amends for that. Dialogue is the important thing to remember here as well. You need to show not only that you know she’s upset, but why, and what you could have done to avoid this situation. Make sure that you get your girlfriend to talk to you, and to explain the situation as she sees it. Sometimes it may not even be something that you did, but the way in which you did it that made her upset.
Just remember, it isn’t enough to just say that you’re sorry and to move on. But at the same time, offering to make it up to your girlfriend can sometimes be seen as insulting. It’s as if you’re offering her something to forgive your past error. But it also takes two people to truly mess up a relationship. If you attempt to apologize and to try and work things out, but she isn’t receptive, ask yourself why. If you’re sure it’s because you’re going about the apology the wrong way, then try a different tact. If on the other hand your girlfriend just isn’t receptive, then you may need to ask yourself if this relationship is going to work.
A lack of communication means that either the person isn’t interested, isn’t aware, or doesn’t care. If you’ve made it clear that you care and that there is a problem that your girlfriend doesn’t want to help you solve, things may run deeper than a rebuffed apology.