Finding “the one” is the ultimate goal for many people who are looking for love. Some say that opposites attract, some believe in love at first sight, and some wonder why fools fall in love. What do you do if the man whom you feel is your ideal love match is emotionally unavailable? If you are looking to rope a man who is emotionally challenged, try these tips for how to attract him.
Be emotionally unavailable (or at least pretend to be): It is common to want what you can’t have, so why not make your love interest want you just the same? Being emotionally unavailable, or at least pretending to be, will likely attract a man who actually is emotionally challenged. Act as though you aren’t interested in deep conversations, and icky things like feelings. It may sound oh-so-4th-grade, but it can actually work.
Play “The Friend”: Being a guy’s BFF is an option to get your foot in the door. Emotionally unavailable men usually surround themselves with friends, as opposed to having a serious relationship, so try being “just one of the guys” for a bit. Chances are, you will find multiple opportunities to work in your viewpoints, become closer, and find out what he really wants (which is the next tip).
Find out what he wants: When a man is emotionally unavailable he knows exactly what he wants, or at least knows exactly what he is avoiding. Once you find out what he is looking for you need to ask yourself whether or not you are willing to change to fit the mold. You can also take this information and use it to your advantage by trying to dissuade him from only wanting flings and casual relationships. Don’t be pushy. That will be the nail in the coffin of your potential relationship.
Listen: Being a good listener will help you figure out how to be the partner that he has always dreamed of. You can pick up on his cues for likes and dislikes and use them to your advantage. Work on being the ideal partner by showing him that you care, and showing him that someone understands him.
Find the underlying cause: Learning why a man has become, or has always been, emotionally unavailable is essential. Finding out this bit of information will give you insight into his head, and really let you know whether all of your efforts will be wasted. If a man has a long-standing history of being emotionally unavailable, and has had no serious relationships, then you could be in trouble. Most likely he is a perpetual casual dater. However, if a man has been jaded by past relationships and is using his emotional unavailability to mask a broken heart, then you could be in luck.
Keep in mind that attracting an emotionally unavailable man is a risk. Chances are, most emotionally unavailable men will not be willing to change their habits. You can’t teach old dogs, right? However, if you want to give attracting an emotionally unavailable man a try, then using these tips is a good place to start. Proceed with caution.