Authored by Jaipi Sixbear in Marriage
Published on 09-17-2009
There are many marriages where fighting over money isn’t an issue. How do these people manage to avoid marital fighting over money? Marital fighting over money issues is common. Marriage partners often disagree about the way money should be spent. Working out a solution without one partner feeling slighted can be difficult.
Why should marital money arguments be avoided? Marital money disagreements compare to business partners fighting over financial investments. Fighting over money issues damages personal and professional relationships. The goal of a business partnership is to remain financially fluid. A marriage between two people who constantly fight over money is not a viable partnership.
Married people who avoid fighting over money have a different perspective toward relationships. Most believe marriage should be a partnership. They are two separate people working toward common goals. They have agreed on the future they see for themselves. They are working together to make that future a reality. They have no reason for fighting over money. They have a plan.
Avoiding marital fighting over money requires a plan. Often people have married without realizing their future goals do not compliment each other. This doesn’t mean the marriage can’t be successful. What it does mean is that avoiding marital fighting will be difficult without coming to an agreement. It will be necessary to talk about your individual goals and how they can be reached.
Recognizing that each person has a right to their own expectations and goals is a good first step. Keep in mind that life is often unfair. It’s possible both marital partners may be disappointed in some way with the outcome of the plan. Prioritize goals so that those most important to each person may be achieved while avoiding money arguments.
Each partner brings a list of goals and expectations for their life. Talk about spending habits. Which ones are bringing you closer to your goals? Which are keeping you from achieving your goals? Work out a reasonable plan for achieving goals by spending and investing wisely. Talk about how best to implement the plan.
There will be times when the plan is compromised. Several discussions may be necessary before finding a plan that works for both of you. There should be no placing of blame in these discussions. Do discuss why the plan didn’t work. How it can be changed so that it does? Often the first plan is strict on personal spending.
Many couples formulate rigid plans in order to avoid marital fighting over money issues. They’re enthusiastic about reaching their expectations and forget about having fun along the way. This leads to resentment and hostility. Leave room for enjoying your relationship in the financial planning session. Marriage should be enjoyable above all.
Married couples avoid fighting over money by working out a common goal. They compromise on their idea of what that goal should be. They use a financial plan to reach the goal they have set. They allow for setbacks and avoid placing blame. Most importantly, they leave room to enjoy their relationship in the plan. These five steps will help couples avoid marital fighting over money.