If you’re one of those people who doesn’t feel comfortable with the opposite sex there are ways you can boost your self-confidence. You have to take control of your self-image and not let other people’s opinions affect your self-esteem. The first step to boosting your self-confidence is to determine what your weaknesses are. For some people its appearance, conversation, or level of experience. Once you figure out what makes you the most self-conscious, you can work to change that part of your self image.
If you lack self-confidence in your appearance make some changes. First of all, have a realistic idea of what you can and should want to achieve. Most people are never going to be Brad Pitt, Megan Fox, or anyone else you see in a magazine or on television.
Resign yourself to the fact that you are probably some degree of average looking, and so are most of the people you know. You can polish your image some with the right clothes, haircut, and a neat clean appearance, but you cannot suddenly morph into a god or goddess.
If you feel you lack personal style ask a trusted friend to help you choose a few new outfits. Although you may need some help in this department, do not let yourself be talked into anything that is going to make you uncomfortable. For guys, uncomfortable might mean too flashy. For women it might mean showing too much skin. Make sure you don’t get something that will make you more self-conscious. For women, a little help with the right makeup products can also boost self-confidence. Again don’t let yourself be talked into anything you won’t be comfortable using.
If talking to the opposite sex is where you lack self-confidence, one of the best ways to get a little self-confidence is just to talk to people. You may get shot down, but rejection is not the end of the world. Everyone gets rejected sometimes. It doesn’t matter how smooth you are or what you look like, sooner or later everyone runs into someone who takes great pleasure in the humiliation of others. You have to learn to let it go, even if your friends witness the incident. Just keep telling yourself that it happens to everyone. If your friends are total jerks about it and keep harping on it, then they are not really your friends and you can find better people to hang out with.
Maybe your level of experience makes you uncomfortable. Your level of experience is nothing to be ashamed of, and you can’t change it anyway – accept it and move on. Many people may wish they were more experienced or they may wish they had said no a few more times. Whatever your level of experience, it’s right for you. You don’t need to compare notches on the bedpost, what age you did or didn’t lose your virginity, or how many people you have or haven’t dated. You don’t need to lie either. Lack of experience is not a crime and when you find the right person, you may very well be glad that you have few regrets in that department.
For these areas or any others where you lack self-confidence, keep in mind that it is fine to be yourself. If the bar, dating, or party scene is not for you, then you can find other ways to meet people. If you don’t want to change the way you look, than be proud of being yourself and be patient until you find the person who can accept you the way you are. If your friends drag you down or put you down, then start limiting your contact with them and look for some new friends. Real friends will recognize your confidence problem and be supportive and helpful. If your friends or family constantly make you feel bad about yourself then try and remember the problem lies with them and not with you.
With a little effort and some positive thinking you can improve your self-confidence and feel more comfortable around the opposite sex. Improving your appearance, practicing your conversation skills, or accepting your experience level can help boost your self-confidence. For these and any other issues the best strategy is a direct approach, while remembering that only you can change the way you feel about yourself. Keep telling yourself that there is nothing wrong with you and that people who constantly put others down are secretly insecure themselves. Do not let other people’s shallow judgments of you keep affecting your self-esteem