How to Build Self Esteem in Relationships

Authored by Alyssa Ast in Self Improvement
Published on 10-09-2009

Self esteem directly affects relationships. If you are suffering from low self esteem, chances are many relationships in your life may be suffering as well. Improving self esteem will improve many relationships in life. There are many things you can do to begin building high self esteem and improve the relationships you have in your life.

Evaluate Relationships

One of the most important things you can do to begin building high self esteem is to evaluate your present relationships. It is important you learn which people make you feel great about yourself and which people put you down. In order to improve self esteem, you must cut the ties from the people that put you down.

New Experiences

Part of improving self esteem involves trying new experiences. Many of the people you have a relationship with may do some things well that you are not able to. It is important to try new things to see what you are good at. Having your own interests is a great way to boost self esteem and strengthen your relationships.

Identify Values

When improving self esteem to strengthen your relationships, you must know where you stand on important values in life. Surrounding yourself by people that share the same values as you do is important to feeling confident about yourself. Having relationships with people that make you feel good about yourself and share in your values are healthy relationships to have.

Positive Thoughts

An important aspect of improving self esteem is paying attention to your own thoughts. You must learn to control your thoughts and remain positive. You must learn to stop self criticizing yourself. Replace the criticism and negetivity with positive thoughts. If you learn to do this, you will increase your self esteem and improve your relationships.

Become Assertive

In order to increase your self esteem, you must learn to become assertive. Becoming assertive will increase your confidence. You must learn what areas you can safely take the risk and be assertive. Learn which situations call for assertiveness. Try to become assertive in situations that you were afraid to be assertive in before. This will show the people you have relationships with you are a strong person and you will not be taken for granted.


Many people find that writing down their thoughts and feelings can help them increase their self esteem. To do this, write down things you like, things you dislike, and emotions you have. Label each of these things with your true feelings.

Begin to own each of the things you listed. This shows you that you yourself have your own opinions of situations and no one can persuade you otherwise. This gives you great self confidence about yourself.

Once you view yourself as a confident person, your self esteem will sky rocket. As you begin to preceive yourself as a strong person, others close to you will view you the same way. Improving self esteem is a great way to improve important relationships in your life.


  • “Building Self Esteem” Building Self Esteem
  • “Self Esteem” Earnie Larsen

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