Authored by Neal F. Litherland in Dating
Published on 09-20-2009
It seems like everyone’s looking for love these days. And while we’d all like to have that perfect night where everything from meeting at the restaurant to drinks to taking a long walk, and maybe more goes off without a hitch. But since we live in the real world, all too often dates take place where things just go badly. Whether your date has vastly different opinions than you do, they don’t know how to hold a decent conversation, or they’re just embarrassing, a bad date is easily recognized. It isn’t as easy to escape a bad date though, but there are some tactful solutions to allow you to live to date another day.
The first, and easiest solution for escaping a bad date is to just be honest. It may be a little harsh, but there’s no sense in playing games with someone whose a bad date. Just be polite, and be honest. Ask them if they’re getting the same bad vibes you are, and if you just want to call it an early night and end things early. Also be firm, and don’t let your date try to talk you into giving them another chance if you’re sure that you want the night to end. It’s your decision, and if they respect that then perhaps another date may be possible in the future.
For situations where bald honesty may not work, it’s best to use the environment to think of an excuse. If you’re at a club, say that you’re developing a headache from the lights, music, smoke, or a combination of all of these. This kind of excuse can be used to soften a blow, and it gives your date the chance to stay somewhere and enjoy themselves while it leaves you free to head back home. There will be questions, but if your date is really bad chances are that they won’t try too hard to get you to stay.
Unfortunately outright trickery is sometimes necessary to escape a bad date. If it’s bad enough to require these approaches then you have gotten in too deep for any other tools to work. This type of escape might seem appealing because it’s more sudden and less confrontational, but it can also be the most damaging for any relationship that may have actually grown. Using a phone, whether cellular or pay is necessary for this method. Excuse yourself to make a call and stay away for a little bit. Upon your return tell them that you’re sorry, but you have to go. Whether it’s a sick sibling, work calling you in, or something happening at home doesn’t matter. The excuse should be believable and if at all possible the person you’re using as an excuse should be told about how they were mentioned to keep any story straight.
It’s important to remember with dates, even bad dates, the golden rule. If the person you’re out with doesn’t respect you then chances are you won’t feel bad about feeding them a line and leaving before things blow up. But people talk, and the easiest method is often the safest. Honesty, regardless of the situation in a person’s dating life, should be paramount whenever possible.