Does your husband scream at you and call you obscene names? Does he beat you senselessly? If your husband does either of these things to you, or both, than you are in an abusive relationship and you must get yourself out of this situation. Move as far away from him as possible.
However, this is much easier said than done. When the time comes for you to leave, you will not know how to escape. You may be very terrified of what might happen to you if your spouse finds out where you are. When you feel these negative emotions, seek a counsellor for emotional support and figure out ways you can safely escape from your abusive spouse.
Your escape, though, is really a matter of timing. If you decide to pack up and leave the next day after a violent episode, there is a good chance your spouse will be able to locate you. He may then feel empowered enough to inflict more serious injuries on you. You should plan and prepare well in advance before you make the move.
The most important thing you will need is money. When you do move out on your own you will need to have enough cash to support yourself until you find employment. If you are unemployed, there are ways to find temporary employment where you can build up your stash of money. Look in your local newspaper for part-time and full-time jobs. If you have a talent like making jewelry, sell your jewelry to local jewelers or to clothing stores. If you are already employed and making any kind of steady income that is a bonus. A steady income will allow you to store your cash reserves much quicker. Always keep your money in a bank account that only you have access to. Never deposit it in a joint bank account that is shared with your husband.
The next step is planning where you are going to escape to. If you have family or friends living out of town, the best thing you can do is to stay with them. Since they know about your situation they will more than likely open their doors to you. They may even support you without charging rent until you are able to find a job. It is not safe to live with family members or friends in the same town or city as you currently reside. This is because your spouse knows these people well and it will not take him very long to figure out where you have run to. If you have friends or relatives who live in another city that is more than one hour’s drive away from your spouse, try to make living arrangements with them.
There are shelters for battered women if you want to maintain your independence. These shelters are also an excellent option because they charge cheap and affordable rent and often offer counselling services. You can research women’s shelters on the internet or contact your local Housing Authority for information on shelters.
Once you have saved up a decent amount of money and have a place to live, the next step is making the escape. Pack while your husband is away and make sure your bags are always well hidden. Pack only in small bags, because small bags are always easier to hide. Make double sure you have your money, wallet, social security number, drivers licence, passport and all other important information with you at all times. Make your escape when your spouse is away at work or out at the bar. If you have a vehicle, make sure it is registered in your name so that your spouse cannot repossess it.
The transition to a different life away from your abusive spouse may be a very painful and difficult one, but if you follow these steps carefully, you will safely remove yourself from the harm. You will be much better off in the long run. Remember, there are a lot of good counselors out there who you can go to for emotional support.
