We’ve all seen the guys who don’t know how to flirt with girls. Whether it’s at a bar or club, or just standing in line at the bank, the signs are unmistakable. Bad one-liners, crude comments, and enough swagger to shame a rooster are some of the most common signs of bad flirting. With only a handful of small steps and changes though, even a bad flirt can improve their technique to the point that they’ll get a smile rather than a groan and a roll of the eyes.
The first and most important part of flirting is body language. You need to be able to look for the signs that the girl is interested. If she’s casting glances your way, smiling, making eye contact, or keeping an open body stance (not crossing her arms or legs, indicating that she’s being open instead of closed) are all good signs for the hopeful man. The next step is taking proper care of your body language. Make eye contact, keep your shoulders back, make sure that you keep your posture masculine, and try to keep an open stance yourself.
Once you’ve seen that attentions are welcome, and assumed the proper stance, the actual flirting can begin. A couple of things that you should pay attention to however, should be mentioned. Make sure that you keep an appropriate distance (1-3 feet or so) when you talk to your girl of choice. Also make sure that you don’t stare, but that you keep appropriate attention. If you can manage all of these unspoken cues, then it’s time to move on to the verbal portion of the flirt.
Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not always a good idea to start out the conversation with the flirting. Unless there have been intense signs of interest, such as smiles that look inviting, or if she touches you in ways that would be considered physically intimate (face, neck, chest, arms… keep your minds out of the gutter guys), chances are that you’re going to have to take things a little more slowly. It’s a good idea to start out with some easy conversation. Introductions, compliments, and even idle chit chat should all be used before anything heavier. If it seems like a good idea, then you should begin flirting in the context of any of these.
The key thing to remember is that, if you’re not sure, keep things subtle. Also, a note on compliments… try and tailor them to fit the girl. You can tell any girl that she’s beautiful, or that you like the way she looks, but it’s an empty compliment and she’s likely to see right through it. Telling her that you like her particular scent, or compliment a particular detail about her (hair, eyes, face… pick a feature. Preferably the one that attracted you to her to start flirting in the first place).
The most important thing to remember when flirting with a girl is to watch the signs. If she’s just not interested, then it’s a good idea to cut your losses and move on. If she’s not interested, then there’s nothing to do but to try and find someone a little more receptive to your flirting. Just remember, practice makes perfect.
