You’ve been seeing him for a while, and you think he might be “the one.“ You‘re ready to take the next step in your relationship. So, how do you “make” your man commit?
Truthfully, a relationship that requires you to “make” him do anything is destined for failure. If he’d rather play the field, or just isn’t interested in moving forward, then do you really want to get him to commit? Help him be comfortable with a commitment, but do not push him into one. Manipulation is never a good thing in a relationship.
With that in mind, there are things you can do to help him take the plunge.
1. Make Sure You’re Both Ready
Before you try to get a man to commit, be ready for commitment yourself. Learn enough about his lifestyle and interests to be sure that they mesh well with your own. Are your long-term goals similar enough to be met together? If he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want children, and you dream of a large family, getting him to commit could lead to heartache.
2. Maintain Your Independence
Make time for him, but don’t let your relationship keep you from also focusing on your family, friends, work, hobbies and interests. The most appealing long-term partner is one who has a full and happy life and wants us to be a key part of it. Commitment to someone who seems clingy or needy is stifling.
Encourage him to pursue his own interests and friendships. Get him to commit by showing him that doing so does not mean giving up other positive aspects of his life.
3. Get Involved In His World and Let Him Into Yours
Develop genuine interest in things that matter to him. His love of fishing doesn’t mean you have to cast a line yourself in order to get him to commit. However, you should be willing to share his excitement about his big catch. Also make efforts to share your interests with him. Be supportive and non-critical when he talks about family or work issues, and expect the same.
4. Be Real
Never try to be what you think he wants instead of what you are. Don’t let him think you’re a domestic whiz if you can’t boil water. Commitment means knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses and loving each other anyway.
5. Get to Know Each Other’s Family and Friends
If you get a man to commit, you will both be expanding your social circles. Get to know the important people in his life, and involve him with your family and friends.
6. Do Not Give Ultimatums or Play Games
Never give ultimatums to get a man to commit. It is better to be patient or even to decide to move on than to force commitment. Likewise, attempting to make him jealous or insecure to push for commitment is unfair.
Commitment requires mutual honesty, fairness, patience and understanding. The best way to get a man to commit to the future is to help him see how good your relationship is today.