We all know that breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes, getting back together is even harder. If you and your ex are committed to learning from past mistakes, your relationship can be better than ever.
Reconciling with an ex can be much harder than starting a relationship with someone new. You have a shared history that includes hard times and hurt feelings. For your best chance at a successful reconciliation, keep the following tips in mind:
1.Get back together for the right reasons.
If you were in a long-term relationship, finding yourselves single again can be tough. Sometimes former couples reconcile out of loneliness and fear, or to avoid financial difficulties. Make sure that you’re getting back together because you love one another and believe you can be happy together. You should be running to each other, rather than away from the single life or your fears of being alone.
2. Take it slow
If you and your ex lived together before, going through a new “dating phase” can feel strange. But only time will tell if the two of you can work through your issues. Instead of rushing back in, take the time to really reconnect. Have long phone conversations. Plan dates doing things you both enjoy. Make sure you both make time for interests and friends outside of your relationship.
3. Learn from past mistakes
It takes two to make a relationship, and two to break it. You and your ex must understand the issues that led to your breakup, and be willing to compromise and make reasonable changes. For example, if your partner was overly jealous, he must be willing to be more trusting and accepting of your other friendships. But you must be prepared to understand his insecurities and provide reassurances so that he can build that trust.
4. Forgive, but don’t forget
Breakups leave you carrying around anger, hurt and resentment. But if you are choosing to get back together with an ex, you need to be ready to forgive. You and your ex must both let go of past hurt and anger and look to the future.
They say it is best to forgive and forget. When reconciling, it is important not to forget the behavior patterns or issues that caused your breakup. Don’t dwell on them, and avoid bringing them up in arguments. But remain aware of the patterns that caused your breakup so that you don’t slip back into hurtful habits.
Most breakups are due at least in part to poor communication. Make sure that you and your ex carve out time to talk, and share thoughts and feelings each day. Be open and honest as you navigate your reconciliation. Don’t let hectic lifestyles and other obligations keep you from staying in tune with each other.
Getting back together with an ex can be tricky. But by understanding past mistakes, forgiving, compromising, communicating and taking it slow, you can make your relationship stronger than ever.