Relationships can be hard, and involve a lot of work to keep them going. Sadly some may end in divorce for a variety of reasons, such as lack of trust, financial disagreements, the feeling they have “grown apart,” or even adultery. While it may seem as if it is the end, there are circumstances that sometimes can try to bring you back together if you feel that you both still really love each one another.
The first step to rekindling your relationship is allowing enough time to heal and to discover what went wrong, and to also find yourself along the way too. Sometimes after time passes, the other can have a chance to allow themselves to think about the past, the things that were said and done, and maybe a different way to approach troublesome topics.
The next step, is apologizing. If you were the one who had made mistakes or left the relationship, this often can be one of the hardest steps to overcome. But once you feel that you can contact your old spouse, and begin to heal with an apology, this often can even be a relief on the other end. Of course, if the break up wasn’t because of something you did, then take some time to wait, to see if he comes around. If an apology never does happen, approach the other, and talk about what happened. Observe to see if any of the old feelings are still there, or see if they feel the same. Having a session of talking it out while both are calm, may shed some new light on the situation.
After taking some time to settle, and you have discussed things, take another breather. Allow some time to pass-just make sure it isn’t too long. Give one another a chance to look back on the discussion, and develop themselves, and change for the better. Once some time has passed, make an attempt to contact them again. Make a phone call to just say hello. See how things are going. Keep the conversation, light and simple. Make a few more similar phone calls. If the other doesn’t mind the calls, then it could be time to set up an actual meeting.
Agree to meet for coffee, lunch, or a light dinner in a public place. Let each one pay separately so there isn’t any added responsibility. Show each other you are each one on your own, and are independent. Again, keep conversation light, and uncomplicated. Talk about any current jobs that you may have, new hobbies, the weather, or even movies you might have seen. Try to stay away from stressful topics like politics or news related events that could lead to a heated debate. Once a few meetings have went well, discuss a chance in maybe trying dating again, or trying some couples therapy to examine the situation and see what went wrong. Begin slow, and don’t add on added expectations from one another, unless you both agree to become exclusive once again.
When you and your ex-husband have both had a chance to develop a better character within yourself, and examine past problems, it could be possible to redevelop a relationship that could be deeper than the last one. Just be sure to take your time, have plenty of patience, and be respectful of one another. If it was meant to be, and your love is still alive for one another, a relationship can develop once again.
