How to Leave a Possessive Boyfriend

It is every woman’s nightmare to meet someone who may be Mr. Right, only to find out he is Mr. Crazy. Now, many women would argue that a little male jealousy is fairly standard in the dating game, and can even be slightly flattering. But, there is a fine line between being a little jealous, and suffering a major insecurity that is usually at the root of a possessive, or domineering, boyfriend.

The first step in freeing yourself from such a relationship is recognizing that your man is, in fact, a possessive one. Does he question your behavior and make accusations about your fidelity? Does he feel the constant need to know where you are, and what you are doing? Do you feel guilty or even scared if you don’t ask his permission to do something first? If you have answered any of these questions, you may want to give some serious reflection to the state of your relationship.

Now, a possessive boyfriend is usually due to deep seeded insecurities and self esteem issues brought on by any number of things. In the worst cases, extreme jealousy and overprotective behavior can be a sign of some more serious psychological problem, like bipolar disorder, or some personality disorders. But, for this lesson, let’s assume he’s just a standard possessive dude.

The first thing you should consider doing is talking to him. If you have made it this far into the relationship, he more than likely has something you like about him. And, maybe with a little coaxing, he would be willing to work on his insecurities. You should tell him how his jealousy, and his constant interference, is making you feel like you can’t breathe. After all, all couples need their space, and he might be missing his own as much as you are missing yours. There’s no harm in trying to work these things out together.

However, if you talk to him, and it still doesn’t do anything to quench his attempts to dominate your life, then its time to say goodbye to an unhealthy situation for the both of you. This is, of course, the hard part. If you have recognized that his behavior is part of an abusive relationship, the prospect of ending it can be scary.

The most important thing to do is make a plan for how you will end things. Make sure you have the support system you need to get through the break up, and then cut ties completely. While this may seem a bit harsh, and is undoubtedly going to be painful, it is important if you are serious about leaving this person. He will most likely try to contact you to win you back. If you have gotten to this point, there should be no turning around.

You may miss him, and you may want to check in and see how he is doing, but resist the urge. Instead, turn to your own future. Make some plans, and set a few goals for yourself.

And, above all else, take some time to heal. It is perfectly alright to focus your energies on making yourself happy. When you are feeling good enough about yourself that you are confident and content being single, then you may be ready to jump back into the dating pool and see who else is out there. Chances are they are going to be a better fit.


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