Authored by Haliyma Barrow in Relationships
Published on 02-15-2011
Breaking up is something that may occur when involved in a long-term, meaningful relationship and how to remain friends with your ex may become an issue. The relationship with your ex may or may not change. Hence the reason, you probably cannot be friends anymore. This occurrence would be awkward, especially if you have been with someone for a long period of time. Here are a few tips to maintain a platonic relationship with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
Change your outlook on life. After a breakup, it is easy to become depressed and think about old times with your ex. What you need to do is be positive about single life and explore new opportunities that were not available when you were a couple. Doing something new will give you an exhilarating feeling. It will eliminate depression and thrust you into an upbeat mode for the new chapter of your life.
Take time away from each other after your breakup. You and your ex are no longer together as a couple and there should be some space kept between the two of you at this time. Keeping in contact right away may bring feelings of hatred and anger or cause you to fall back in love when you really should be evaluating what went wrong in the relationship. Time away will give you an occasion to think and contemplate the way forward.
Keep it casual. After you have been apart for some time, if you both cross paths again it is best to keep it casual and not grovel at your ex’s feet when you see him/her. This would make it uncomfortable for both of you. It’s best to leave the past in the past. Remaining friends with each other may require an effort on both sides, but it can be done.
Spend time as friends. If you have remained friendly with your ex, then you should spend some time together building your friendship. If you are both amicable and if you have moved on, you may allow your former partner to meet your new one. Since he/she knows you very well, this would be an ideal occasion for him/her to give his/her opinion on your current partner. This can make your friendship come full circle as long as each party maintains respect.
Do not discuss your new partner until you are both comfortable. Intricate details of your new relationship should not be brought up with your ex unless you both are absolutely comfortable with the topic. Over time you will discover whether your friendship is solid enough to discuss certain matters without personal feelings being affected.
It is not impossible to remain amicable with your ex. After being in a relationship for some time, there are bonds that are formed that cannot be easily broken. Remaining friends will take time and effort. Furthermore, you must respect each other. At the point of the breakup, you should spend time apart from each other. Only the both of you can gauge your relationship to know what is comfortable and how you can maintain a friendship.