Written by Jody Morse in Relationships
Viewed by 4 readers since 06-10-2009
It can be very devastating for any couple to experience an affair. When one partner has cheated on the other, there are some people who would simply prefer to move on with their lives. There are others who want to at least try to make things work, however. Here are some tips for any couple, whether dating or married, on how to stay together after an affair.
Get Everything Out in the Open
Before anything else, the first thing that you should do when trying to stay together after an affair is to get everything out in the open. Discuss how you feel about your partner’s betrayal and allow them to offer any explanations that they feel they may need to give. Getting everything out in the open is the best way to ensure that everyone’s feelings are addressed. Keep in mind that being open about everything is also the only way that trust can possibly be regained in the relationship.
Don’t Talk About the Affair Again
After your feelings about the affair have been discussed, don’t talk about it again. One of the main things that you should know about how to stay together after an affair is that it is always best to avoid talking about it whenever possible. The more often that you bring up the affair, the more stress it is going to cause for both people in the relationship. Neither of you will be able to fully move on when the past is constantly brought up.
Come Up With Goals For the Relationship
Many people do not know how to stay together after an affair. Part of this may be because goals are not set. If neither of you knows what needs to happen to get your relationship back on track, it is never going to work out. Whether your goals are having a date night or spending more time away from one another, be sure to address anything that seems to bothering either of you.
Consider Visiting a Counselor
If you really want to stay together after an affair, it is a good idea to visit a counselor. It is ideal to visit someone who has experience working with other troubled couples. A good counselor can help guide discussions in the right direction. While spending money on counselling may not seem ideal, it can really help you stay together after an affair.
Keep in mind that no matter how hard you may try to stay together after an affair, there is a possibility that the relationship simply will not work out in the end. As much as we would like for things to work out, some relationships are just not meant to be. Sometimes it is just hard to ever trust someone after they have hurt us once. As hard as it may be to accept, there are some people who will also never change.
If you do not think that staying together after an affair is working out for you, admit this to both yourself and your partner. There is no reason to prolong the end of a relationship once you are already sure that it isn’t going to work.