Authored by Katharine Foust in Marriage
Published on 08-29-2009
This is a question that women can spend tons of time on. We will ponder. We will ask our friends. We will pray. We only want the answer to one simple question after all – Is he ready for marriage?
There is a certain order to things. We women recognize this order and like to think we are prepared for it. Honestly, that’s not going to change until they either figure out a way to start making fairy tales come true or they start burning the books that ends in “happily ever after”. The fact is that no matter how liberal the world has become, women are still set up to wonder the same question – Is he ready for marriage?
Sadly enough, we start asking this question about marriage before we even start dating the guy. In fact, a lot of time the answer to that question actually determines whether or not we will date him! The possibility that the answer is yes will increase his chances of dating us.
As the relationship moves forward, we think more and more about marriage. Of course, most women are looking for the answer to that question not only the entire time they are dating the man, but some will even question it after the marriage ceremony is a fond memory. We ask ourselves, we ask our friends, we ask our families and of course in our own ways we ask the man – is he ready for marriage? Of course, no one can really answer the question verbally. The answer has to be read in signs.
If you are asking yourself if he is ready for marriage then you need to figure out if you are asking that because of your own fears, or is he giving you reason to ask the question about marriage in your own mind. The best way to answer this is to read the signs. Sometimes you will learn something you don’t like. Maybe he is ready for marriage and you aren’t.
Women seem to talk more than men do. There aren’t too many men alive that would disagree with that statement. In all reality, we women already know this. So why is it we expect men’s communication to be primarily verbal when we know that’s not how they work? Men express themselves in other ways. They are providers by nature, not nurturers. So, does he provide without resentment? Does he protect and respect you?
The bottom line is that if you can answer the question, then you have found the kind of man who meets your needs. The man who is ready for marriage is secure in himself and his relationship with you. He doesn’t hesitate to let you know he cares and may in fact be shocked that you have to ask. He may not act like being in a relationship with you is a big deal because he is in his comfort zone. He doesn’t feel the need to act like a schoolboy with a crush.
