Authored by Jaipi Sixbear in Marriage
Published on 12-08-2009

Premarital counseling questions can help couples whether they seek formal counseling or not. Questions asked by premarital counselors are designed to avoid conflict and misunderstandings after marriage. Answering premarital counseling questions gives a better understanding of your marriage partner and their expectations. These sample premarital questions can help unify engaged couples. They are meant to serve as a preemptive strike against future difficulties.

Instructions:

Each group of categorized premarital counseling questions are dealt with during different sessions. Give time to discuss answers and resolve conflicts in depth. Each partner should answer these questions honestly on paper without consulting the other partner. Once both are done, exchange papers and discuss your answers. Once all the questions are answered, couples can work out a viable plan for the marriage, containing conflict resolutions. Put decisions in writing to avoid later disagreements.

Premarital Counseling Questions on Financial Matters

• What is your individual financial plan?
• How do you expect finances to be blended?
• Do you have health, life, medical and dental insurance?
• What is your outstanding debt?
• What is your plan for repayment of debt?
• Do you have any savings, investments or retirement plan?
• Do you have a will?
• If not what are your wishes for division of finances in case of unexpected death?
• How will you divide money in the event of divorce?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Your Marriage Expectations

• Why do you want to get married?
• What does marriage mean to you?
• What do you expect your spouse to contribute to the marriage?
• What do you expect to contribute to the marriage?
• Did your parents have a happy marriage?
• How would you do things differently from your parents?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Conflict Resolution

• Do you believe there is conflict in every marriage?
• How did your parents solve conflicts?
• How do you intend to solve conflicts in your marriage?
• Do you believe in addressing every conflict or letting smaller issues go?
• Are you tolerant of differing opinions?
• Are you willing to accept small imperfections?
• What types of behavior are unacceptable to you?
• When does divorce become inevitable?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Religion and Spirituality

• What do you consider your religion to be?
• Are you willing to accept someone with differing beliefs?
• Does your faith require the conversion of your spouse?
• Do you expect your spouse to convert to your faith?
• Will you worship together or separately?
• What religious traditions will you celebrate on holidays?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Work

• Will you be keeping the same job after marriage?
• Are you secure and happy with your job?
• Does your job leave room for future advancement?
• What benefits and vacation time does your job provide?
• Is your job financially sufficient?
• What job or career changes might you make in the future?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Home Choices

• Where will you live after the marriage?
• How will your personal possessions be merged?
• Do you prefer to rent or own?
• Do you prefer an urban, suburban or rural environment?
• How much space do you feel is adequate?
• How do you feel about roommates, overnight guests and privacy in general?
• Are you financially ready for home ownership?
• When do you expect to be able to afford a home?
• What is the ideal place to live in your opinion?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Division of Labor

• How do you expect the housework to be divided up?
• Who will be responsible for vehicle maintenance?
• Who will take care of the lawn and garden?
• Who will be responsible for family budget tasks such as bill paying?
• Who will do the majority of the cooking and cleaning?
• Do you believe these tasks should change with the circumstances?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Friends and Relatives

• What do family and friends mean to you?
• Is there anything your spouse should know about your friends and relatives?
• Do you have any friends or relatives that depend on you financially or otherwise?
• Are your family and friends opinionated or flexible?
• Do you believe your family and friends have a say in your marriage?
• How will you divide time between your two families and your friends?
• Who will you spend the holidays with?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Children and Parenting

• Do you wish to have children?
• How many children would you like?
• When would you like to start a family?
• What discipline methods do you believe in using?
• What type of behavior do you expect from your children?
• What type of education would you like for your children?
• How will you provide for the financial and emotional well being of your children?

Premarital Counseling Questions on Free Time and Dreams

• What are your favorite things to do?
• What percentage of your free time do you wish to spend with your spouse? Your children?
• Do you expect to know the whereabouts of your spouse at all times?
• If you gained financial independence where would you live and how would you spend your time?
• Where and when do you expect to retire?
• Do you have a plan in place to reach your dreams and goals for the future?

These are just a few premarital counseling questions you may want to ask yourselves before walking down the aisle. Marriage is a merger between two people. It’s important to know your partner well before deciding to spend your lives together. These premarital counseling questions are designed to encourage positive inspiration for planning your life together as a married couple. Use them as a starting point for discussing all aspects of your future.

Please Note: The author is not a licensed therapist. This article is intended for informational purposes only. Consult a therapist for in depth premarital counseling.