Authored by Tucker Cummings in Dating
Published on 03-23-2009

Getting to know someone on the second date can be hard, especially if your first date didn’t involve a lot of talking. Whether your first date was at the movies, a quick drink at a local bar, or a double date with another couple, chances are you don’t each other all that well. Knowing what questions to ask on the second date can help you figure out what sort of future you might have with this person.

1. Ask questions about the future. Chances are, if you are going on a second date with this person, you see some sort of potential for an ongoing relationship with them. Asking about their plans for the future is a great way to test your compatibility. You certainly don’t want to scare off your date with questions about how many kids they want or whether they want to get married within the next 6 months. Instead, ask questions that focus on their dreams, goals, and aspirations. Ask them if they enjoy their job. If yes, ask them what they like most about it. If no, ask what their dream job would be. What is the one country they’ve always wanted to visit? What celebrity would they like to meet one day?

2. Ask questions about the past. Ask questions about the bright spots in a person’s past. Topics might include favorite foods growing up, embarrassing (but funny!) summer camp stories, favorite family vacations, or simply the name of their dog. What was the best concert they ever saw? What was their favorite birthday memory? Did they go to college? Where? Did they get a chance to study abroad? Did they play sports in high school? What was their first car? What is the first movie they remember seeing?

3. Ask questions about shared interests. Try to find some common ground. Lead off with a little bit of information about yourself. If you have a passion for watching documentaries on the History Channel, mention one that you saw recently that you found particularly gripping, and then follow up with a question about what sort of documentaries or movies they saw recently that they really liked. If you both enjoy great food, tell them about a little known restaurant near your town. Tell them about your favorite dish, and ask them if they’ve ever been to a place like the one you are describing. Do they like watching sports? What team do they root for?

4. Share something about yourself, and ask them to do the same. It can be interesting to find out what makes your date special. Do they play any instruments? Do they have any hidden talents? Can they touch the tip of their tongue to the tip of their nose? Have they won any awards or trophies? Do they support any charities? Each person has something unique, and finding out what separates your date from everyone else on the planet will tell you a lot about them.

Your second date should feel like a dialog, not an interrogation. Avoid a barrage of questions, and instead try to follow-up your questions with a story that relates to your question. Above all, stay positive, and really engage your date. Listen when they speak, look into their eyes when you ask a question. Stay relaxed, and you should be in for a great second date!