A loving couple understands that they have to pay attention to every aspect of their relationship. They should love each other yes, but they should also be honest, open, and passionate with each other. For some couples who have been together for a long time though, the passion may begin to fade. One way to keep that passion fresh though, and to keep things interesting, is to dabble in a bit of role playing.
Everyone remembers when they were kids and they would make believe. With nothing more than the power of the imagination they created danger, adventure, and intrigue out of thin air. Adults can tap back into that potential through role playing with each other.
However, role playing isn’t something that you should spring on your partner one night out of the blue. It might be a little awkward to talk about at first, but then again, what new idea for the sex life isn’t awkward at first? Just keep in mind that everyone has sexual fantasies. You, your partner, your co-workers… everyone. The goal of role playing is to re-create that fantasy, or at least the feeling of it, with your partner. So the first, logical step in the process is for you and your partner to share your fantasies with each other. Make a night of it… perhaps set the scene with some candles and wine, make it secret and romantic from the get go. In addition to creating a loving atmosphere, adding an air of “just between us” can help a couple open up to each other.
When discussing what kind of role playing you’d like to do, it’s important to be up front with each other about limits and comfort zones. Many couples can establish a give and take with role playing, each fulfilling the others fantasies. However, if your partner is really uncomfortable with something then don’t push the issue. It may be possible though to take elements from one type of role playing and transfer them to something your partner would be more comfortable with.
For instance, if you want to try tying up your partner while role playing a master and slave scene, but your partner is uncomfortable with that, change the roles and see if it helps. A similar sort of role play could be established if one partner played a police officer, the other someone that was being arrested. The balance of power has shifted, and the element of bondage is present with hand cuffs, but the tone of the scene might be more amenable than the previous one. This is meant to keep things intimate and exciting, so it’s very important that both partners be willing to give role playing a try.
Keep in mind as well that you’re not kids anymore. As adults, you can go beyond simple imagination. Costumes, accents, even set dressing is par for the course, depending on how involved a couple may wish to become. If a man puts on a top hat and coat to play the ravishing Edward Hyde for his wife, or if a woman squeezes into a white nurse’s uniform to help “care” for her husband, then they’re getting into character. If both partners find that they thoroughly enjoy themselves, and end up looking forward to their next session together, then role playing is definitely something that’s brought a little excitement and drama into their sex life.