Authored by Rodney Southern in Dating
Published on 08-15-2009
If you have recently gotten out of a relationship, one of the biggest decisions that you are going to need to make is whether you should continue to talk to your ex. Although the idea of not talking to the person who you once dated may seem difficult at the time, it might not necessarily be the best thing to do. Here are some of the things that you may want to take into consideration when trying to decide whether or not you should talk to an ex after a break-up.
Will Either of You Develop False Hope?
One of the most important things that you will need to take into consideration is whether either of you will begin to develop false hope. If there are still feelings on either end, then talking to one another after a break-up is not a good idea. In the event that you do have any type of discussion, it is important to be open with your feelings. If one of you does not care for the other, then it is important for them to admit that they do not have feelings and that the idea is not to give false hope. Keep in mind that if your ex has feelings and you do not, not talking to them can help prevent them from believing that you may want to reconcile. If you have feelings and your ex has made it clear that he or she doesn’t, then it is also best to stop talking.
How Long Ago Was the Break-up?
Another one of the factors that you will want to take into consideration is how long ago the break-up occurred. If it was very recent, the best thing for you to do is avoid talking to each other whatsoever. This will give you both the ability to think about what happened between the two of you. You may be able to determine what went wrong during the relationship. It will not be possible for you to successfully work things out unless you both take time to yourself. If you are not meant to be, you will be able to realize that you were truly unhappy. Not talking can help you move on or make up, depending on the specific relationship.
In the beginning, avoiding each other is really the best thing that either of you can do until your head is clear. Over time, it may be easier to talk to one another, but there are some people who are better off not talking again once they have broken up.
Will it Prevent You From Seeing Others?
When you do not plan to get back together with an ex, the only thing that there is left for you to do is move on. This generally involves seeing other people. If you continue to talk to your ex, however, you may not actually make the decision to move on to others. It may be because you are not entirely over your ex or it may be because your ex tries to guilt you with jealousy. No matter what the case is, your ex should not be the main reason that you are not dating other people. If he or she is the reason, then it is best to stop talking whatsoever.
The decision to talk or not talk to an ex can be a very difficult one. It can often be hard to stop conversing with someone after you have talked to them for years. Not talking can often be the best thing after a break-up, especially in the beginning. Allowing yourself enough time to think clearly and move on is the best thing that you can do.