Authored by K. Thor Jensen in Relationships
Published on 06-19-2009
The dating world is a minefield, with all parties playing some kind of three-dimensional game of chess against each other. Each person has their own needs and motivations. While everybody claims that the most important thing in a relationship is honesty, we are biologically constructed to never be actually honest with each other. Instead, we cloak our true feelings under layers of obfuscation. If you’re in that position, I’m here to help you out. In this article, I will focus on the male gender. I will spotlight ways that you can identify and recognize signs of male attraction, both physical and conversational. If you’re worried that “He’s Just Not That Into You,” read my words and figure it out for yourself.
One of the most noticeable signs of male attraction is immediate physicality. Guys are very simple creatures, and they are often ruled by their caveman impulses. When a man is interested in a woman, he will attempt to use his body to display that interest to the rest of the world subconsciously. Some “tells” that you can look out for is putting his arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, or walking close to you. On the other hand, if there’s no chemistry you will be able to tell by his reluctance to make physical contact with you. If he walks with his torso facing away from you, or a step or two away, that is a pretty good sign that the physical attraction isn’t there.
Another important thing to observe is the position of their shoulders, arms and hands. If a man wants to attract a woman, he will keep his shoulders open and squared. This means his body will be parallel to yours, so he is “front and center” to you. His arms should be kept open, not crossed. This shows that he wants no barriers between you and him. He’ll also keep his hands visible, occasionally smoothing his hair or shirt. These unconscious grooming behaviors are a subtle hint that he wants to look his best for you.
Of course, a man can also give verbal cues to demonstrate his attraction to you. The most common is complements. If he seems unusually interested and observant of your hair, clothes, or other features, and tells you about them, that’s a fairly obvious cue that he has some kind of interest in you. Of course, not all men communicate as well verbally as others, so a certain segment of the population may use a “reverse psychology” tactic and gently chide or tease you in hopes of eliciting a reaction. If this happens, don’t take it personally – the fact that he is showing you that kind of attention means that there is some chemistry present.
I hope that this brief outline of the various signs of male attraction will be helpful to you in your dating life. Of course, we’re all human beings, and it’s no guarantee that the man of your dreams will show all, or even any, of these signs. But one interesting side effect of keeping an eye out for these signs is that you will display more interest in your date. That interest sparks interest, like an ember sparks a fire. Good luck!