Ten Mistakes that Wreck a Marriage

A solid marriage takes a lot of work, and a lot of preparation. On the other hand, it is surprisingly easy to wreck a marriage.

The best place to start, to protect yourselves, is before the marriage proposal. Really get to know each other before making this commitment. Otherwise, you may wreck your marriage. Here are some mistakes to guard against.

1. The End of the Honeymoon Period

As time goes on, the mundane aspects of keeping house together, who does the dishes and housework, who cooks, eventually arise. Disagreements can spark. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that the “honeymoon period” will necessarily continue and be prepared to work these issues out together.

2. Different Values

Do you want the same things in life? Do you want children right away, and to stay at home with them, but your spouse does not agree? Do you want to be on the fast track at work, with homelife secondary, and your spouse feels unloved? If these differences are not resolved, marriage can fail.

3. Lack of Respect

If you put each other down, paying little heed to the desires and needs of each other, this creates a hostile environment in the home.

4. Dishonesty

One spouse lying to another can be a death knell to a marriage. When trust is gone, not much is left.

5. Criticism

Whether the critical partner is deliberately trying to diminish their partner, or whether they are simply saying speaking without stopping to think how the remarks might hurt, the effect is the same. Intimacy is damaged.

6. Too Much Time Apart

In the beginning, a couple has a strong desire to spend as much time together as possible. This can fade over time. It’s normal to spend time with other people. But taken too far, this can create a hole in the relationship. The one going out seems to have little interest in their spouse and the one left behind feels ignored. A couple can grow apart if this continues.

7. Valuing One’s Family Over One’s Spouse

When a couple marry, the ideal is to leave one’s birth family and create a new family with the spouse. Some people continue to be overly attached to their parents or siblings, which can leave a spouse feeling on the outside.

8. Disagreements Over Money

Do you want to save for the future, while your spouse wants to spend, spend, spend? Do you disagree about major expenditures? Talking about these things before marriage can save grief down the road.

9. Being Unfaithful

This can cause deep grief and may end a marriage.

10. Marrying for the Wrong Reasons

Did you marry him because of who he is or because he has a good job and a nice income? Did you marry her because you love her as a person or because she is attractive and will cause other men to envy you?

All of these things can wreck a marriage. But all of them can be remedied by partners who communicate honestly and desire to share their lives.


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