Authored by Neal F. Litherland in Dating
Published on 09-19-2009
Speed dating is a strange phenomenon. What the process boils down to is that there’s a room full of men and women, with one gender sitting at tables and the other rotating tables. This happens every 5 to 10 minutes, and in that time you’re supposed to be able to figure out whether or not you’d like to actually go on a date with the person you’re talking to. While most people see speed dating as the last resort of the hopelessly romantic or the abysmally desperate, it can work for a lot of people. Especially if they pay attention to what’s happening.
First, pay attention to what the people you’re speed dating are saying. Remember names if you can, as well as interests and what they do and don’t like as far as food, movies, and clubs of interest goes. However, also pay attention to what your speed dating partners aren’t saying. If someone sits down across from you and sums themselves up as a person in a few sentences before wanting to hear you talk, chances are good they’re looking for something. If your speed date does nothing but talk about themselves they may be a selfish person, but they may also be trying to compensate for the fact that they’re speed dating. The idea is that if they can tell you about what a deep and emotional person they are, you won’t associate them with something that’s usually considered as shallow as speed dating is by the general public.
Another good tip to keep in mind is to know what it is that you want. You only have 10 minutes at best, so stick to your guns and find out what you want to know about your speed dates. If you’re looking for someone to spend Saturdays at the ball park with, ask questions about their interest, favorite teams, and how intensely they like their games. If you’re looking for someone to go to the movies or the theater with, then the issue is the same. If you want to hook up… well, different activity, same strategy.
Speaking of sex, one of the major reasons that a lot of people date in the first place, here’s another tip for you speed daters. When you only have a handful of minutes to make an impression on somebody, this is not the time to be either modest or shy. Be up front with the people you’re speed dating, and be honest about your intentions. A person is much more likely to trust you if you’re up front and honest, even if they’re not interested in what it is that you’re seeking. People also respond to honesty with the same, and you’re much more likely to find out what your speed dates are looking for in a partner, and whether or not you fit that description.
Lastly, learn how to read people. Look for signs that they’re interested, bored, lying, or any of a slew of other emotions. If you can properly interpret the signals, then speed dating will be a great deal more pleasant for you than it would be if you didn’t have this skill.