All abuzz about the wedding, a couple spends the first months of planning excitedly picking the right motifs, venue, outfits, etc. As d-day nears, the bride-to-be suddenly feels nauseous and panicky as the reality of the wedding dawns on her… A classic case of wedding jitters!
A wedding is all about letting go of single-hood and adapting a new life with someone else. It is about accepting all the good as well as the not-so-good aspects of a person. It is about building a new life together, being part of each others families and eventually starting a new family. It is about making decisions as a couple and having each other to rely on for the rest of their lives. Getting married is a very tough decision, and having second, third and fourth thoughts is perfectly normal, after all, marriage entails that a person’s life is about to change forever – for better or for worse.
So how must one react when the jitters come? The answer is quite simple. Relax, do not panic and talk. Ask yourself what it is you are afraid of. What are the biggest changes to accept after the wedding: be it less time for friends, having to change a career, leaving the family home or living with someone for the first time, these changes should be dealt with head on.
If the immediate changes from the wedding cause a cringe or two, then a talk is over due. In cases where drastic changes are required (e.g. living with the in-laws, moving to a new country, etc.), there is no other way to shake off the jitters unless talked through with the fiancé. It is essential for the couple to lay down their cards on the table long before d-day.
For those who are afraid of letting go of a care-free life with friends, there is no reason to fear, getting married does not mean that a couple should give up their lives completely for each other. In fact, it is healthier for the couple to continue having life apart from each other. While one would most likely spend less time with friends and family as there are new duties in a new home, it is absurd to think that these aspects of life will be lost. During the wedding preparations, going on with life as usual is a good way to seek comfort. The couple can spend time with their own sets of friends, spend time with common friends together and continue to enjoy each other in the process.
Wedding jitters is normal, it is not a reason to panic neither does it mean that one doubts the relationship. The big factor in dealing with issues is keeping an open communication with the partner. A couple should work together as a team, helping each other deal with concerns and taking the necessary actions to comfort each other. These done, wedding jitters can be a positive thing as it may very well bring the couple closer together and truly prepares them for a life long of team work. Listen to each other closely and it will be easy to conclude if the issue requires more than a tissue!