Authored by Ceetee Sheckels in Marriage
Published on 10-15-2009
Infidelity has occurred throughout history. There are some reasons why it seems to be more prominent these days than ever before. There are also some reasons why the subject is gaining so much attention.
One reason for both of these factors is that these days both men and women have been prodded to see infidelity as par-for-the-course. The media is constantly informing the American public about the extra-marital affairs of celebrities, politicians, and others who live their lives in the public eye.
Research studies take it even further, claiming that all or most men cheat on their wives. When this is the message which people hear on a consistent basis, more and more men and women come to believe that infidelity is a part of married life which should simply be accepted. Many men cheat on their wives because they have come to believe that everybody does. When people who are in respected positions, such as politicians, headline the news with their stories about cheating on their wives, it gives a negative message to everyone who hears it.
Another popular excuse for men cheating on their wives is the increasing emphasis on a lifestyle based on following one’s urges. Many believe that simply being attracted to someone is reason enough to give in to one’s urges. The basic concept of self-control and self-restraint is diminishing amongst large segments of the population. Some go as far as to include the “pop-psych” notion that human beings are not “hardwired for monogamy.” As modern culture goes down the drain, so do concepts such as commitment and remaining faithful to one’s marriage partner.
Some men cheat on their wives because they are not satisfied with their wives or with their marriages. Their sex lives may not be as satisfactory as they wish; their wives may not have enough time for them; or communication in general may have broken down. While these factors have led to infidelity in the past, there is more of it now. Instead of both partners putting the time and effort into discussing the problems and working out solutions which are beneficial to both individuals, many consider it easier to simply find someone else.
The lack of commitment in marriages today often leads to infidelity, as well as to divorce. As the modern generations have been prodded to view everything in life as being “all about oneself,” the results have been disastrous. Not only the high divorce rates, but people who opt for one living-together arrangement after another, should make it clear that the focus on the “Self” is one of the main reasons why so many marriages fail. Too many view everything in life in terms of what they themselves can gain from it, what is personally convenient to them, and how quickly they can get rid of it if it is not meeting their own personal needs or wishes. It is certainly easier today for men to cheat on their wives – and women to cheat on their husbands – when pop culture continuously tells people that life is “all about Me.”